I ALLOW THE APP TO READ DATA ABOUT MY CONTACTS STORED ON MY PHONE, INCLUDING THE FREQUENCY WITH WHICH I HAVE CALLED, EMAILED OR COMMUNICATED IN OTHER WAYS WITH SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.
I ALLOW THE APP TO READ MY PHONE’S CALL LOG, INCLUDING DATA ABOUT INCOMING AND OUTGOING CALLS. THIS PERMISSION ALLOWS APP TO SAVE MY CALL LOG DATA.
I RELINQUISH OWNERSHIP OF MY ETERNAL SOUL, AND HAVE GIVEN PERMISSION FOR STEVE JOBS TO HARVEST MY ORGANS, AS AND WHEN HE REQUIRES THEM.
I ALLOW THE APP TO READ MY TEXT MESSAGES, ALSO SEND TEXT MESSAGES. THIS MAY RESULT IN UNEXPECTED CHARGES.
I ALLOW THE APP TO CALL PHONE NUMBERS WITHOUT MY INTERVENTION. THIS MAY RESULT IN UNEXPECTED CHARGES OR CALLS
I ALLOW THE APP TO ACHIEVE MY CALENDAR DATA REGARDLESS OF CONFIDENTIALITY OR SENSITIVITY.
I ALLOW THE APP TO MODIFY MY CALENDAR EVENTS AND EMAILS WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE .
I ALLOW THE APP TO USE MY PRECISE LOCATION.
I ALLOW THE APP TO CHANGE THE STATE OF NETWORK CONNECTIVITY.
I ALLOW APP AUTOMATICALLY TURN OFF AIRPLANE MODE.
THE APP RESERVES THE RIGHT TO TRACK YOUR EVERY MOVEMENT, BOWEL OR OTHERWISE, AND USE THIS INFORMATION HOW WE SEE FIT, IF YOU’D LIKE TO “OPT OUT” OF THIS, IT’S TOUGH, YOU’RE OUR IBITCH NOW. SURRENDER TO OUR WILL.
I ALLOW THE APP TO RECORD AUDIO WITH THE MICROPHONE. THIS PERMISSION ALLOWS THE APP TO RECORD AUDIO AT ANY TIME WITHOUT YOUR CONFIRMATION.
I ALLOW THE APP TO TAKE PICTURES AND VIDEOS WITH THE CAMERA. THIS PERMISSION ALLOWS THE TO USE THE CAMERA AT ANY TIME WITHOUT MY CONFIRMATION.
IN THE EVENT OF MY DEATH, MY ENTIRE BODY WILL BE SHAVED AND THE HAIR WILL BE USED TO MAKE SNAZZY TURTLENECK JUMPERS FOR STEVE JOBS.
I ALLOW THE APP TO SELL MY PERSONAL INFORMATION INCLUDING NAME, ADDRESS, BILLING INFORMATION, AND FAMILY PROFILES- WHICH INCLUDED NAMES AND BIRTHDAYS OF CHILDREN TO THIRD PARTIES.
I ALLOW MY DATA TO BE USED FOR GOVERNMENT SURVEILLANCE TO PREVENT OR TAKE ACTION REGARDING ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES.
I AGREE THAT A BUSINESS MAY PAY THE APP TO DISPLAY MY USERNAME, LIKENESS, PHOTOS WITHOUT COMPENSATION TO ME.
I AM AWARE THAT I AM REQUIRED TO CONVERT AT LEAST THREE PEOPLE TO OUR LITTLE CULT PER YEAR, AND TRY TO TELL ANYONE IN EARSHOT, ABOUT HOW IS ‘JUST WORKS’, AND ‘IT WOULD COMPLETELY CHANGED YOUR LIFE’.
THE APP CAN CHANGE THESE TERMS AT ANY TIME.
I ALLOW THE APP TO READ MY PHONE’S CALL LOG, INCLUDING DATA ABOUT INCOMING AND OUTGOING CALLS. THIS PERMISSION ALLOWS APP TO SAVE MY CALL LOG DATA.
I RELINQUISH OWNERSHIP OF MY ETERNAL SOUL, AND HAVE GIVEN PERMISSION FOR STEVE JOBS TO HARVEST MY ORGANS, AS AND WHEN HE REQUIRES THEM.
I ALLOW THE APP TO READ MY TEXT MESSAGES, ALSO SEND TEXT MESSAGES. THIS MAY RESULT IN UNEXPECTED CHARGES.
I ALLOW THE APP TO CALL PHONE NUMBERS WITHOUT MY INTERVENTION. THIS MAY RESULT IN UNEXPECTED CHARGES OR CALLS
I ALLOW THE APP TO ACHIEVE MY CALENDAR DATA REGARDLESS OF CONFIDENTIALITY OR SENSITIVITY.
I ALLOW THE APP TO MODIFY MY CALENDAR EVENTS AND EMAILS WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE .
I ALLOW THE APP TO USE MY PRECISE LOCATION.
I ALLOW THE APP TO CHANGE THE STATE OF NETWORK CONNECTIVITY.
I ALLOW APP AUTOMATICALLY TURN OFF AIRPLANE MODE.
THE APP RESERVES THE RIGHT TO TRACK YOUR EVERY MOVEMENT, BOWEL OR OTHERWISE, AND USE THIS INFORMATION HOW WE SEE FIT, IF YOU’D LIKE TO “OPT OUT” OF THIS, IT’S TOUGH, YOU’RE OUR IBITCH NOW. SURRENDER TO OUR WILL.
I ALLOW THE APP TO RECORD AUDIO WITH THE MICROPHONE. THIS PERMISSION ALLOWS THE APP TO RECORD AUDIO AT ANY TIME WITHOUT YOUR CONFIRMATION.
I ALLOW THE APP TO TAKE PICTURES AND VIDEOS WITH THE CAMERA. THIS PERMISSION ALLOWS THE TO USE THE CAMERA AT ANY TIME WITHOUT MY CONFIRMATION.
IN THE EVENT OF MY DEATH, MY ENTIRE BODY WILL BE SHAVED AND THE HAIR WILL BE USED TO MAKE SNAZZY TURTLENECK JUMPERS FOR STEVE JOBS.
I ALLOW THE APP TO SELL MY PERSONAL INFORMATION INCLUDING NAME, ADDRESS, BILLING INFORMATION, AND FAMILY PROFILES- WHICH INCLUDED NAMES AND BIRTHDAYS OF CHILDREN TO THIRD PARTIES.
I ALLOW MY DATA TO BE USED FOR GOVERNMENT SURVEILLANCE TO PREVENT OR TAKE ACTION REGARDING ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES.
I AGREE THAT A BUSINESS MAY PAY THE APP TO DISPLAY MY USERNAME, LIKENESS, PHOTOS WITHOUT COMPENSATION TO ME.
I AM AWARE THAT I AM REQUIRED TO CONVERT AT LEAST THREE PEOPLE TO OUR LITTLE CULT PER YEAR, AND TRY TO TELL ANYONE IN EARSHOT, ABOUT HOW IS ‘JUST WORKS’, AND ‘IT WOULD COMPLETELY CHANGED YOUR LIFE’.
THE APP CAN CHANGE THESE TERMS AT ANY TIME.